If you are the girl who constantly looks like she has it completely together on the outside, but inside you feel like you are running on empty, this episode is for you.
This week, I am so, so excited to be joined by the wonderful Debbie Missud. Debbie is a licensed psychotherapist, founder of the Manhattan Psychotherapy Collective in New York City, and the brilliant mind behind the social media space @therapydebbie. She is also the author of the incredible, newly published book, Self-Directed Complex PTSD Exercises for Women.
In this conversation, Debbie and I dive into the heavy but healing reality of what it means to live with high-functioning anxiety and complex trauma. We unpack how our childhood family systems often condition us to tie our self-worth directly to our external achievements - and why learning to lower the dial doesn't mean you're going to fail. In fact, it's the exact place where your healing begins.
Inside the Episode, We Chat About:
- The High-Functioning Anxiety Cycle: Why being the "good girl" who exceeds expectations gets rewarded by society, even when it’s driving us toward total burnout.
- Our Sneaky Defense Mechanisms: A breakdown of intellectualizing our feelings, over-indexing on external control, and the survival function of idealizing people or family dynamics that actually harmed us.
- What is Complex PTSD (CPTSD)? How chronic, repetitive emotional misattunement shapes our adult worldview, and how it differs from standard PTSD.
- The Scaffolding of Trauma Work: Why true healing must start with regulation and grounding before we ever open up the boxes on our psychological shelves. Debbie shares tangible tools from her book, including how to build a physical "grounding toolkit" and how to utilize pendulation to safely navigate physical discomfort.
- Real-Life Exposure Therapy: Debbie gets vulnerable about navigating her own recovering perfectionism while simultaneously launching a book, moving, and planning her upcoming wedding (talk about a wild season!).
- A Message for Brides: Why your wedding doesn't make your marriage, and how to stop viewing external wedding details as a reflection of your worth.
A gentle reminder to sit with from this episode: Your anxiety and your negative beliefs about yourself are learned patterns - and anything that was learned can be unlearned. Turning down the pressure does not mean everything will drop. You are still safe.
Connect with Debbie:
- Instagram & TikTok:
- Therapy Practice (NY Residents)
- Grab Her Book: (Also available at Barnes & Noble, Target, and Walmart!)
Connect with Megan:
- Follow Megan on IG
- Learn more about how to work with Megan here!
- Download Megan's FREE 8 episode private podcast "Healing Starts Here"