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This conversation explores the very overlooked link between childhood trauma and how we show up in our friendships. We talk about the moments when old wounds get activated, the ways we over-function or under-function with the people we love, and why so many “good girls” feel ashamed of needing support in friendships at all.

We dig into self-attunement as the foundation for healthy relationships—because if you didn’t grow up with parents who attuned to you, it can feel foreign (or selfish) to turn toward yourself now. We break down why friendship feels so tender, why we often look for our friends to be the emotional parents we never had, and why internal self-care is the starting point for deeper, safer connection.

We also name the cultural silence around this topic: childhood trauma isn’t just about your family. It follows you into your adult relationships, especially your friendships. And healing requires both personal responsibility and the courage to let others show up for you.

EPISODE TAKEAWAYS

When we’re not attuning to ourselves first, our friendships become the place where our unmet needs spill out.
Taking care of your emotional world isn’t selfish—it’s what allows connection to deepen.
Self-attunement creates the safety needed for honest, nourishing conversations.
Validation from friends is beautiful—but it can’t replace inner emotional care.
Healthy friendships are built on a balance of self-responsibility and mutual support.
Emotionally supporting yourself first prevents burnout, resentment, and over-functioning.
The “dance” of friendship becomes easier when both people are attuned—to themselves and each other.
Knowing your triggers and patterns enhances communication and reduces conflict.
Personal growth directly expands the depth you can experience in friendships.
Healing childhood trauma allows your adult friendships to feel more secure, reciprocal, and safe.

When Childhood Trauma Shows Up In Your Friendships (and Why We Don't Talk About It Enough) with Stephanie Bagato

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Connect with Megan